


Smiles Hide Sadness

by orphan_account



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Amazingphil - Freeform, Angst, Assault, Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes, Bullying, Cliche, Clique - Freeform, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Crying, Cutting, Drug Abuse, Earings, Fluff, Gangs, Gay, Gay harrassment, Hair Dye, Homophobics, Journals, KrismPro - Freeform, M/M, MangaMinx - Freeform, Markiplier - Freeform, Multi, OtakuForeverPaige, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Self-Harm, Smiles, Snuggling, Texting, TheRPGMinx - Freeform, Tyler Oakley - Freeform, YouTubers - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, jacksepticeye - Freeform, pewdiepie - Freeform, troye sivan - Freeform, vlogging - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-09 11:18:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7799752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Michael Lester is a ray of sunshine. One of the few pure people left in this messed up society. His eyes shining bluer than blue and his smile soft and sweet- who knew he was broken more than could be repaired...or could he?</p>
<p>Dan James Howell is a popular kid, known for being a bit tough and distant with the wrong kinds of people. The bullies. The drug abusers. His chocolate brown feathery hair and irresistible smirk- who knew he wasn't as broken as most like him are, someone not to be trusted or could help...or could he?</p>
<p>Both of them are misunderstood. When Chris' group targets Phil- Dan realizes that the blue eyed wonder may be hiding more than he thought, and who knows? Maybe misfits fit together perfectly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Phil

_All I want is for someone to look at me, and not just see a smile and bright blue eyes. All I need is someone who loves me for all of me, not for the fact I'm semi-popular and 'attractive'. All I can ask for is for someone I can depend on to never judge me for how I am. All I can say is I want to be held in someone's embrace, to be able to cry on their shoulder and not just be that for them. All I wish is for is to be loved, truly and fully._

_My name is Philip Michael Lester, I'm 19 years old. I'm a student at an Academy here in America called Ever Brooks University. Well, I'm a foreign student from Rawtenstall, England. My peers call me overly optimistic, and I guess you could call me that. I just tend to look on the bright side, you know. Life's better that way, but it doesn't mean I don't see the way the world for as it is. I do have some secrets that no one else can know, but I try every day to make others happy. I don't want to burden others who may have more problems than I._

_Life is peculiar, isn't it?_

Dan 

_All I want is to be able to begin again, and reinvent myself the way that I wish to be known as. All I need is someone who will accept my past and not hold it against me. All I can ask for is to have someone who won't be afraid to be embraced and cry on my shoulder, regardless of who I seem. All I can wish is to be loved, truly and fully._

_My name is Daniel James Howell. I'm a 17 year old British exchange student here at Ever Brook University in the United States of America. I'm from Manchester, England. I'm known as a bad boy who stays with Chris- the "gang leader" of the school. He often enjoys rather sadistic acts, literally torturing other students he doesn't like for some reason. I'm called an outlaw, a cold and heartless guy. I have a soft side, I have problems too. I just can't tell anyone because they wouldn't t trust me anyways. I try everyday to keep to myself- why hurt people by being attached to them?_

_Life is kinda backwards, isn't it?_


	2. Lovely //Phil//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip Lester is a student from Rawtenstall, England, and came to America with his mother after his father passed and brother moved away. He attends Ever Brooks University, a campus for kids with many different talents. Phil has a natural gift as an entertainer; but doesn't know what the illusive bad boy Dan Howell's talent is. What could Phil himself be hiding at home, and who really is Daniel James Howell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also cross-posted on my Wattpad!

Phil

With a jolt, I woke up- groaning from sudden contact with my face in the carpet, sighing. Silencing the alarm that had shocked me into falling onto the ground, I stood up and surveyed my surroundings, before heading to the bathroom in a blurry haze to get my contacts.

Tiptoeing across the floor as not to wake up my mother, who was passed out in her room again. I heard a car leave the driveway, then looking over to see my mother was unclothed, sheets just barely covering her, and realized she must've slept with another random guy.

How could she stand it? Doing _that_ when right on her dresser was a picture of our family- Her, myself, Martyn, and Dad before he was killed.

My heart heavy, I chose the option of just wearing my glasses to school, and combed my messy hair down and in a right-angled fringe, and headed back to my room.

Slipping on another decent shirt and jeans, I tiptoed back into the hall.

And of course, one of my biggest traits was my clumsiness, and I fell with a clash, waking my mother.

"What the hell is going on? Philip, I swear to God if you broke anything again-" I heard her yell from her room, probably covering up in her robe to come and scold me.

Before she could, I took my chances and grabbed my bag with an apple. Bolting down the stairs, I headed down the street to where the bus came and picked me up every morning, and took a seat. Thankfully, the stop was out of sight from the house.

I wiped my tears as I sat on the curb, wishing it wasn't like this. I thought of how Dad would react if he knew that this was how I was left when Martyn graduated- moved out- and he died. That Mom would just lose everything, and sleep with a new man every night. That she would drink every night and become abusive.

But I was the perfect child at school. Straight A's and a permanent smile.

Time passed, and soon the bus was pulling up around the corner. Standing, I waved to Tyler and Louise and sat down.

Behind us, I noticed a boy with a black hood pulled over his head, earbuds in his pierced ears with small black dot earrings. I recognized him right away as Dan Howell, the school's 'bad boy'.

Honestly, I don't understand why everyone is so afraid of him, what has he done we know for sure? But saying that to Tyler and Louise wouldn't be very smart, they'd laugh at me.

"Staring at Howell again?" Tyler poked my arm, a big mischievous grin on his face.

"N-no!" I turned around, and looked bashfully away from Dan.

"Does Philip have a man-crush?" Louise squealed, making my face go red.

I saw Dan look up from his phone, and look over at my blushing state- his own face going pink. I shot him a grin, which he looked away from, his scowl reappearing and he turned back to his phone.

"Hey, Phil, Tyler, Louise!" Marzia waved, Felix right behind her.

Dan had looked up again, hearing the noise, and looked back down with a frown. He seemed so alone, and I found my gaze stuck on him.

"Goodness gracious, Phil, you're infatuated with your man-crush, huh?" Tyler teased, seeing my eyes focused back on Dan.

-*-*-*-

Walking into the building, I put on the smile and opened my eyes, and became the Philip Lester everyone here at the University in America. The one with an amazing grin, perfect reputation, and was liked well- with a talent for entertainment. Not the Philip Lester who at home was ignored and had a mother who drank and was like a prostitute after we moved to the United States.

"Hey Phil!" An Irish voice called out to me.

"Hey Jack," I called back, grinning, "Where's Mark?"

"I'm right here!" Mark pouted, crossing his arms when I finally (although I had to look down quite a bit) spotted him.

"Sorry, Mark," I laughed.

Someone bumped into me, and mumbled a small 'sorry' as they passed.

Turning to look at him, I saw the same black hoodie-wearing Dan Howell. Dan and I were actually some of the well, tallest, people in the university. I wasn't close with Dan, but it wasn't hard to see we both were above 6 foot, even though Dan was a pinch taller than I was. Here at the University, admission depended on your talent. Mark, Jack, and I were all good with comedic entertainment. But what could Dan specialize in?

He kept his head down, slouching with a sad expression tugged at my heart. People deserved to be happy. And I swore to myself I'd be the one to make Howell smile.

-*-*-*-

I was cold. Nothing but a hard, cold surface beneath me. I felt sore, and my arms and body was stinging. Another hit to my gut made me cough blood again, and more tears fell freely. A piece of leather was whipped against me, and I cried out in pain.

I heard the sadistic laugh I recognized easily as the gang leader of the school, Chris Kendall. Chris was an open sadist, loved to hurt people and the administrators of the school were too scared of him to do anything. Chris and his little gang would target people in the school, and I guess it was only due time I would be hit. Chris was admitted for his acting, easy to see, because of at frist he'd seemed like a sweet, charming, funny guy- who was actually like this.

There was an old shed behind the school, it used to be used for gym supplies years ago, according to Mark. Mark had been coming to this school area since he was in secondary school, so he was the expert. But now, everyone knew this shed belonged to Chris and his group for torturing. You had to be severely suicidal to want to go in there.

A girl I recognized as none other than Cat Valdes, the female entertainer, Chris' girlfriend for now at least, kicked my rib cage. I wished it was over then, when I spotted a hooded figure.

_Howell?_

"Hey, he's passed out. Chris, you know you don't have as much fun when they're unconscious." For some reason- Dan was speaking up for me to _Chris_

I played along with Dan's words and pretended like I had been knocked out. Chris, Cat, and the others left- only for Dan to stay behind and help me.

"Lester, just take this and don't speak of me again, okay blue eyes?" Dan tried to sound cold and fierce, and yet his voice faltered.

"D-Dan, it's okay. Honestly, I-I can take care of myself! It's a few scratches," I laughed painfully, my ribs burning in my chest.

I saw him widen his brown eyes, but harden them as fast as they opened. I noticed he saw the scars, not from this beating, all over my body. He scoffed, turning his head and putting out his hand.

"Take it, get up, and go around the back. He won't see you. Go, Lester, you're a nice kid," Dan pointed to an open window at the back of the shed, then exited. 

_Howell, you sure are interesting._


	3. Lovelie //Dan//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel James Howell is a student at Ever Brooks University, and is from Manchester, England. At school, he is the bad boy who wears all black and a scowl, and at home- the most sweet, gentle soul in the world. But, what is this on his dash?

Dan

"Hello, Dan!" A small, brown haired boy smiled up at me.

"Hey, Ty." I patted my little brother on the head, smiling.

But, for once, my thoughts were truest heavy. Images of the blue eyed wonder- entertainer Philip Lester crossed my mind.

Seeing the scars on his body as if he had been beaten prior to Chris stayed in my head. Why does the most cheery kid probably to ever live have scars like that?

"Why are you wearing all black again?" Ty asked, looking up at me.

"It's my favourite colour , and don't you like to wear blue, you're wearing it now aren't you?" I responded to him, pointing at Ty's blue jeans and light blue shirt.

I was the bad boy at school. The person that everyone feared and the one everyone hated. They said many things about me- that I'm a drug dealer who bought my way into the university with drug money and came from England because I'm a criminal dealer there or that I go to clubs and rape girls.

Actually, we came from England because I was accepted to the university in entertainment for direct audience, like videos. I'm underage for alcohol and I'm actually gay, I don't even like girls.

But they don't even want to take the time to know me and to be fair, I'm fine with this. I'm fine with being alone and illusive.

I told Ty I had a homework assignment to complete and headed off to my room upstairs, laying my bag on the chair by my door. Shoes into the closet and hoodie hung up, I changed into one of my favourite shirts.

The t-shirt was black with white stars around the collar, and I sat down at my desk. Scrolling through my laptop on Tumblr, I saw a picture that was much different than my normal feed of aesthetic pictures.

An account called crabstickz , aka my "friend" Chris Kendall posted an image of none other than Phil Lester, tied up and crying on the ground in the school shed.

'Having tons of fun right now, he's too sweet and it's sickening how fake he is. He's so innocent and that's the most fun.'

I was nervous, I didn't know Lester very well but even that sheepish grin he had shot me on the bus that morning showed me his sweetness.

The post timestamp showed he was most likely still there, 6 minutes ago he posted it.

What the heck is going on here?

So, of course- I went to find out.

"Daniel? Where are you going?" Mom  
asked while cooking.

"I forgot something at school, I'm going to go and get it," I replied, slipping around the corner.

"Just be back soon, okay?" Mom said from the kitchen, and I grabbed the keys.

Dad let me drive the deep blue Volkswagen, and I didn't have a license in America for my own car yet though. Pulling out of the drive, I headed down to the university.

Phil...what've you done to make Chris hate you so much?

\---  
"Chris?" I came into the shed, hearing a yelp of pain.


End file.
